Stonewall Gazette

Written by Beth Skwarecki


QUESTION:
Why do penises, both flaccid and erect, seem to curve as a man ages? I’ve noticed this happening to mine, and I’m wondering what I can do to prevent further wandering of my member. It’s not severe, but it’s noticeable, and I don’t want it to worsen and affect my sex life. ANSWER

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Written by Emily Mongan

A draft of an executive order being considered by President Donald Trump has raised concerns among advocates for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender seniors for its possible consequences on long-term care facilities. The draft order, called “Establishing a Government-Wide Initiative to respect Religious Freedom,” would allow organizations to claim religious- and moral-based objections “when providing social services, education, or healthcare; earning a living, seeking a job, or employing others; receiving government grants or contracts; or otherwise participating in the marketplace, the public square, or interfacing with Federal, State or local governments.” Legal experts have described the draft order as “sweeping” and “staggering,” and have noted that order, if passed, would “go far beyond what the Supreme Court has identified as the limits of permissive religious accommodations,” the Nation reported.

Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Elders, or SAGE, released a statement indicating the order could allow hospitals, nursing homes and other elder care organizations to deny services and discriminate against LGBT seniors. “Freedom of religion is an important, core American value,” the statement reads. “But it cannot be used to endorse profound discrimination and mistreatment of any community — including LGBT elders — in federally supported services and programs." The group added that the implementation of the order “would not only stigmatize, but endanger the lives of LGBT elders,” and that it must “never see the light of day.” READ MORE

Related Draft Of Executive Order On “Religious Freedom” Unveils Sweeping Plan To Legalize Anti-LGBT Discrimination: “It’s Shocking in Scope”

Written by Editorial | Hartford Courant

The Air Force did an injustice to H. Edward Spires 68 years ago when it interrogated him and booted him out with an "undesirable" discharge only because he is gay. This wrong must be righted now, before it's too late.

Mr. Spires is 91 and frail. Because of his discharge, he is denied all the benefits due veterans, including a military funeral with honors.

Mr. Spires was a chaplain's assistant for two years when he was harshly questioned and ousted in 1948. He is one of an estimated 100,000 members of the military who have been discharged since World War II for being gay. The military has thankfully evolved since those purges. Its 1942 ban of gays was lifted in 2011 by Congress.

But changing the policy didn't undo the damage. Many gay veterans remain branded with the shame of less-than-honorable discharges solely because of their sexuality. Some have succeeded in getting an upgrade. But the painful process can take time and records may no longer exist, as in Mr. Spires' case. He destroyed his out of understandable mortification, and the Air Force may have lost its records in a fire.

Mr. Spires did go on after his discharge to build "a life and a career that have brought joy to those around him," his husband, David Rosenberg, said this past week. He's worked in community theater, and the Norwalk couple have been together nearly six decades. But the stain of a less-than-honorable discharge made him feel ashamed all these years.

He's suffered this humiliation too long. The Air Force needs to give him an honorable discharge now.
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MORE COVERAGE

Group of Lawyers at the Yale Veterans Legal Services Clinic are Seeking to Right a 68-year-old Wrong:

They filed a federal lawsuit against the Air Force seeking to upgrade H. Edward Spires' discharge status to honorable, a change that would allow him to have a funeral with military honors.

"The idea that this man of faith who served dutifully as a chaplain's assistant in the armed forces, who built a life and a career that has brought joy to those around him, would leave this earth considered undesirable in the eyes of his country, it's unthinkable," Spires' husband, David Rosenberg, said during a briefing on the case at Yale Law School.

The couple lives in Norwalk; they have been together for nearly six decades, marrying in 2009.

Written by Shane Lueck

The research regarding the benefits of health and fitness is undeniable. We all know the cost of unhealthy living. Older folks, including GLBT folks, didn’t grow up with health and fitness as a priority in their life, says Harry Hartigan. As a member of Prime Timers Minneapolis/St Paul for nearly two decades, Hartigan is the visionary behind Boomer Town at Pride and currently serves as Prime Timers’ outreach and education chair. “Fitness was for the wealthy and privileged and there was not the availability of fitness centers or health and fitness information,” Hartigan says. “Today the fitness options are within reach for most people. Seniors with certain health coverage have some great fitness benefits, such as Silver Sneakers.”

Over the years, Hartigan has seen Prime Timers members struggle with health issues from high blood pressure to weight and diabetes, and from stroke and mobility issues to depression. After several members talked about how to improve health while being safe and having fun, they discovered the Mall of America opens early and welcomes walkers of all ability levels. MORE

For more information about joining Prime Timers MSP and its various events, click here or, reach out to the organization at info@primetimersmsp.com or 612-371-9537.

Robert Bettinger gestures toward a frame holding old photos of himself.

Robert Bettinger has more stories than can fit in a single news article. He's 87 and gay. He served in the Army in Japan after World War II. He’s an ordained Episcopal priest, and lobbied for that church’s move toward greater acceptance of gays and lesbians. He married a woman and raised children before coming out in 1975 and moving to San Francisco. There, he said, he met Harvey Milk and served on then-Mayor Dianne Feinstein’s gay advisory committee. Bettinger also had two partners die of AIDS. These kinds of experiences are shared by many in Bettinger’s generation. That’s one reason why he’s so supportive of North Park Seniors, the forthcoming affordable housing development designed for LGBT seniors. He said they need to be among their peers. READ MORE

A new low-income housing development will break ground in North Park next week. But this one is different. It's designed for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender seniors. It's the first project of its kind in San Diego. KPBS metro reporter Andrew Bowen says it's meant to serve a community that's in serious need. Watch Video

As most people age they face many challenges such as declining health and financial issues.  Below are excerpts from two articles that explore a very important issue affecting LGBTQ seniors as they go into care facilities: Will they be forced back into the closet?

Metro Vancouver's LGBTQ Seniors Facing Discrimination
[Vancouver, B.C.] People forced to hide their sexual identity for most of their lives shouldn’t be pushed back into the closet as they age, concludes a report released Monday in Vancouver. The discussion paper called Aging Out is the result of conversations between lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) seniors in Metro Vancouver with staff of the Qmunity resource centre in Vancouver’s West End. “There’s a deep level of self-closeting in our older generation,” says Dara Parker, executive director of Qmunity. “This is a generation that when they came of age, it was illegal to be who they were. “They grew up in a generation where they weren’t treated very well. Most people didn’t accept them and they’re aging with that same generation who’s going to be in the same care home,” explains Parker. “The challenge is that their legal rights have not translated into lived equalities. So the day-to-day experiences and the culture that we live in still prevent people from being fully included and feeling a sense of safety.” And because few lesbian and gay couples had children in past generations — and many were rejected by their relatives — they are often alone in old age or relying on a circle of friends that differs from a traditional family. The report makes two recommendations: that health authorities add questions about sexual orientation and gender identity to their intake forms for publicly funded residential facilities; and that seniors be given more than 48 hours to accept or reject a bed when it comes open so they can determine whether it’s suitable. Health officials were consulted during research for the report and Parker said the most common reaction was that it’s an issue they never considered. READ MORE


LGBTQ Seniors Fear Going Into Care Because It May Mean Being Forced Back Into The Closet
[Vancouver, B.C.] The transition from living independently to living in a care home is hard enough. Coping with the fear of discrimination over your sexual orientation can only make it harder, but that’s the issue facing a growing number of seniors in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or queer (LGBTQ) community. A new report by Qmunity, a Vancouver-based advocacy group, has found that LGBTQ citizens who lived through the culture war that carved out a place for them in society now worry they’ll have to go back in the closet when they move into care. The paper, part of Qmunity’s Aging Out project, found LGBTQ seniors worry they’ll face homophobia from staff and insensitive treatment from health care providers. Many already do, says Dara Parker, Qmunity executive director, ranging from overt homophobic slurs to condemnation of lifestyle choices. “There’s various levels of closeting,” said Parker. “They might tell one person but not somebody else. They might choose to hold their partner’s hand in front of one nurse but not somebody else.”
READ MORE

[Vancouver, B.C.] In 2013, former city councillor Alan Herbert created Gay & Grey, a discussion group addressing issues that relate to aging as a gay man. The idea came about when Herbert noticed something unusual about HIV support groups in Vancouver. "Members weren't talking about being HIV-positive anymore. Instead, they were discussing everyday problems, like retirement, housing, loneliness and even other illnesses," he said. Herbert quickly realized that while HIV was the reason these individuals had come together in the first place, the conversations they were having had no direct relation to it. "After outliving many of their friends, they were having questions about aging -- something many never thought they would get to experience." Since the group opened its door last September, the one issue that keeps coming up every meeting is housing. "Ultimately people want to know: will there be a place for me to live openly when I get older?" said Herbert.

Read more at The Tyee

Fraser Doke, living with HIV for three decades. (Photo credit: Kristian Secher)

Fraser Doke shares his story of what it's like for a gay man living with HIV as he enters into his senior years - it hasn't been easy. In fact, at one point in his life, he didn't think he'd live past his 30s.

The Tyee reports:

"My life is what made me [who I am] today, all the fights I've gone through. I have no shame and no reason to hide," he said. For over two decades, Doke has lived in a West End housing co-op called The Manhattan. After his surgery last year, he hasn't been able to work, instead receiving government subsidies to pay for rent, food and medication. But it seems every month the budget is getting a little tighter. "For now I am trying to find a roommate to make things more affordable," he said. "In the future, though, senior housing might be my only option. When that happens I want to know I will be accepted as an equal." READ MORE

The Tyee has a very interesting article on a report by the Canadian AIDS Treatment Information Exchange which highlights the fact that approximately nine per cent of all individuals living with HIV in Canada are over the age of 50.

The Tyee reports:

There is no data on how many of these individuals over 50 are in fact gay, though the 2008 statistics suggest 51 per cent of all patients living with HIV in Canada were gay men or "men that have sex with other men." What will happen to them as they enter an already overcrowded care system? [These men are] An invisible demographic According to Statistics Canada, between 2015 and 2021, the number of seniors in Canada is expected to exceed the number of children aged 14 and younger for the first time ever. While data on the general senior population is easy to find, the number of LGBT seniors is an unknown statistic. READ MORE

Seniors in the LGBTQ community are in great need for affordable housing. Alex Sangha recently spoke with The Tyee about his plan to build Dignity House. It's only at the early planning stage and Sangha points out that one of the biggest hurdles is getting support from health authorities and government.

The Tyee reports:

The facility would be the first in the city to target the aging LGBT community by addressing what he says are the specific needs of LGBT people. "It's a known fact that LGBT people have higher rates of substance abuse, depression and suicide. They are more at risk of isolation and loneliness because often times they are estranged from their families, or they haven't had kids." Sangha knows Dignity House is still a long way from becoming a reality. Two years is very little in the world of planning, he said. Up until now Sangha and his team had been conducting needs assessment and feasibility studies. READ MORE

YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED
Will Gays Have to Go 'Back in The Closet' Once They Enter Senior Care Facilities?

[Vancouver, B.C.] Growing old can be daunting enough, but can be made even more worrisome for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, two-spirited and transgendered community. Often, checking into a retirement home can be like taking a time machine back to the days when homosexuals were underground and didn't risk letting people know about their sexuality. To be accepted and to escape bullying from other rest home residents or even staff, many elderly homosexuals simply choose to go back into the closet. But Alex Sangha says it doesn't have to be that way. As part of a Master's in Social Work at Dalhousie University, Delta resident Sangha has undertaken an initiative to open a rest home catering to the LGBT community and its allies. "We want to welcome everyone, but we just want to create a homophobic/transphobic-free place for everyone," said Sangha. Since he first announced the project and received some media coverage in September he has managed to raise more than $37,000 -- $12,000 more than his original target -- and has received individual donations from across the continent. The largest portions of the donations came from the United Way and the Vancity Community Foundation, but it hasn't just been the money that's rolling in, said Sangha. "We have put out a call for applications to set up a dignity house advisory committee," he said recently. "We wanted up to 10 community members, but we already have 17 people, including the four on the committee who have applied." The committee eventually came to hold 22 members who will get started on the project in late January. Now the next step is to conduct a study on the feasibility of the project, with the ultimate goal to open the "Dignity House" seniors' home.

The project has received some criticism from the public with some people alleging a rest home for a particular community amounts to segregation. UBC professor of social work Brian O'Neill said that's not the case and such a home is needed for LGBT seniors who feel forced to live in isolation or deal with bigotry if they were openly gay at their rest homes. "I've been out since I was 20," said O'Neill, who is gay himself. "I don't want to have to go back into the closet if I had to go into a long-term care facility." Though he said he wouldn't have a problem with going to a traditional rest home, he understands how many could object to it. "The bit of research that I've done around this… is that these institutions have been basically and still are largely organized on the assumption that everybody is heterosexual," he said. The dynamic can make LGBT seniors feel out of place or even unwanted.

Read more at The Tyee

NEW YORK TIMES - BACKSTORY:
In April 2008, Clay M Greene’s partner of 25 years, Harold Scull, then 88, fell and was hospitalized. Sonoma County became involved, and the two men were separated into different nursing homes and prevented from seeing each other. Their belongings were sold at auction, and their cats were taken away. Mr. Scull died a few months later. A lawsuit Mr. Greene filed asserts that the men’s wills and wishes were not honored and that their relationship was not treated equitably because they were a same-sex couple. The county has said there was a concern about domestic violence, although no criminal charges were pursued. A civil trial over the county’s actions is scheduled to begin July 16, 2010.

The New York Times/ Scott James reports:

When news of the lawsuit emerged last month, it grabbed headlines, and gay rights advocates — including the National Center of Lesbian Rights, which has added its legal resources to the case — said it was a textbook example of discrimination against same-sex couples.

Anne N. Dennis, Mr. Greene’s lawyer said, “Because they were gay, the county was able to do things they would not be able to do to a married couple.”

After all, how often are married heterosexual couples separated against their will?

But if Mr. Greene is to become a poster boy for legalizing same-sex marriage, he is an unwitting one.

In one of his rare interviews, he did not refer to himself as gay.

Having come from a generation when one’s homosexuality was hidden for fear of arrest or rebuke, he speaks in euphemisms.

“Just because my friend was 10 years older than me and fell down in the driveway,” Mr. Greene said. “They have to make a big deal out of it.”

Friend. Not lover. Not partner.

He beamed as he flipped through an album of old photographs, black and whites of handsome athletic men in taut bathing suits on the beach.

Yes, they were more than just friends, the pictures said.

“We weren’t a married couple,” Mr. Greene corrected.

“Why are you making a big deal out of this? We were just roommates.” READ MORE

"Those who work with seniors say they're seeing growth in the number of people in their 60s, 70s and 80s coming out of the closet as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender," reports the Associated Press. Social scientists have long noted that people are coming out younger and younger. They say there's a similar trend at the other end of the age spectrum. Growing awareness and acceptance of varied sexualities and gender identities in the U.S. helps explain the shift. Experts say coming out late in life comes with a unique set of hurdles. That includes fear of being shunned by children and grandchildren and a sense of loss over having fewer years to live life outside the closet. "As seniors we face common problems of aging, illness and the loss of friends, partners, and relatives. As GLBT people, we sometimes face estrangement from our neighbors and families," writes SeniorGays.org. "It would be good to unite to form a community of support for each other in Sacramento as well as online. In other cities such organizations have flourished and have provided companionship, fellowship, and mutual nurturing to GLBT seniors."

August 1, 2007

[Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada] Out on Screen honours the past while exploring the world of film. Walking past the sleek gloss of Davie Street's new storefronts, it's easy to forget about the places they supplanted: Doll and Penny's Cafe and Fresgo Inn, where generations of the urban gay community congregated, flirted, debated, bonded, and formed. Yet with their disappearance, some of the stories they fostered of how things got to where they are now were lost or taken for granted. Like the spectacle of the Pride parade or the glamour of a drag queen, behind the dazzling surface are some mesmerizing stories of rejection and acceptance, of triumph and accomplishment, of heartache and heartbreak. One of the local resources for making these unseen stories seen, both locally and internationally, is Out on Screen's annual Vancouver Queer Film Festival (www.outonscreen.com/). Now Vancouver's second-largest film fest with 19 years under its belt, this year it will run from August 16 to 26. Capturing and preserving local queer history on film is exactly the objective of Out on Screen's Queer History Project. One of the project's first films will premiere on August 24 (Vancity Theatre). Made by writer Ivan E. Coyote and musician Veda Hille, The Love That Won't Shut Up presents gay and lesbian Vancouverites talking about their experiences of being gay in Vancouver in the '50s, '60s, and '70s. Their personal anecdotes and memories of queer establishments such as Faces and the covert Vanport, which was sometimes raided by police, give insight into Vancouver's recent past.

Read more at The Georgia Straight