Stonewall Gazette

Written by Shane Smith, Editor, Stonewall Gazette


It can be a challenge to find a career that you love, to wake up every day with the excitement of knowing that you are living your dream life.

For automotive designer Bryan Thompson, finding that rare sweet spot in life was not an easy journey.

As part of our mission on Stonewall Gazette to highlight independent blogs that may be of interest to the gay community, I've created the #Blog2BlogLuv column. Today's post features gay writers. If you have a blog suggestion please contact me here. Happy reading!

Shane Smith, Editor, Stonewall Gazette


Visualizing The AIDS Epidemic - A Stunning Collection Of Over 8,000 AIDS Education Posters: Huffington Post

World AIDS Day was first conceived in August 1987 by James W. Bunn and Thomas Netter.
Read the fascinating history at Back2Stonewall

Today Is World AIDS Day, Trump Proclamation Omits LGBT Mention: The Gay Almanac

HIV Is Still Here – And It’s On The Move: Living Gay Brisbane

Just Another Death Sentence: Nonfiction by Hank Trout: A & U Magazine

White House Office Of National AIDS Policy Web Page Blank On #WorldAIDSDay: The Randy Report

World AIDS Day and My Amazing Husband: I Should Be Laughing

Once, When We Were Heroes: Mark S King

UNAIDS Warns That Men Are Less Likely Than Women to Access HIV Treatment and More Likely to Die of AIDS-related Illnesses: The Rustin Times

The World AIDS Day Anthem We Really Need Has Just Arrived: My Fabulous Disease

Horror, Heroes, and Hope - World AIDS Day 2017, the 30th Anniversary: The Out Front

The Personal Is Political, Unlike Coq Au Vin: Mental Musings and Meltdowns

Written by Phil Schraeder


Every employee has a unique perspective, and it helps immensely if they discuss their background with colleagues. As a gay man, I’m always willing to discuss my own story with the rest of the organization. This means, for instance, bringing up my partner in casual conversation with the same ease that a straight colleague might bring up a girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. When I initially gravitated toward working in accounting and finance, I didn’t have a tremendous number of gay role models to look up to, so I’m especially aware of the subtle but powerful value of just being visible and vocal about who I am. READ MORE

Written by Michael D'Alimonte


Gay guys get misunderstood, a lot, at least when it comes to our lifestyle. The largest misconception is that all gay guys share a specific lifestyle, one that's a big ball of sex, abs, and partying. If only that were true. The largest culprit of reinforcing the gay stereotype, even though they don't really mean to, are some straight girls. Such women seem to have a singular conception for all gay men, one that's far from reality. To illustrate what I'm talking about, here are 14 things some straight girls never seem to understand about gay guys:

Written by Michael Hobbes


For years I’ve noticed the divergence between my straight friends and my gay friends. While one half of my social circle has disappeared into relationships, kids and suburbs, the other has struggled through isolation and anxiety, hard drugs and risky sex.

Written by Attitude


There’s been a rise in the number of men who identify as ‘mostly straight’, and their reason is because ‘bisexual’ is “too gay”. Ritch C. Savin-Williams, a professor of development psychology at Cornell University, is releasing a book entitled Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity Among Gay Men which is explores this new phenomenon.

Written by Shane Smith , Editor of Stonewall Gazette


Join hosts, Psychologist Dr Tony Ortega and Life Coach John Davisi as the two men discuss important topics in the gay community.  In the premier episode of The Raw(est) Brunch they'll be covering fear, comparison, judgment, and body shame!

Written by Christian Hill

For the LGBT community, marriage equality is a huge win and further establishes that we are worthy of the same rights as everyone else. However, in my own reality, marriage has not been on the top of my list of priorities.

Working at Camden Area Health Education Center with LGBT youth, primarily YMSM (young men who have sex with men) of color, I witness them struggle to cope with abusive partners daily. The thing I hear over and over is: “I want to leave him, but I have nowhere else to go.” It is disheartening to know that these young people have to endure life-threatening situations just to have a place to sleep at night.

I myself have fallen victim to interpersonal violence and, until this moment, have never really spoken about it. At the age of 18 I found myself living with a guy I had only known for about six months, cutting classes, eventually dropping out of college, and abusing alcohol and marijuana daily.  During the first six months I didn’t notice, but this guy was already luring me with controlling mechanisms, and I naively thought he only wanted the best for me. It began with him telling me how much he wanted to see me and talk to me, so I’d always make myself available, either on the phone or in person at his house. As the relationship progressed, his feelings of “missing me” became manipulations, forcing me to be available at all times or suffer accusations of infidelity and being a “whore.” READ MORE

Written by Jeffrey Masters

Zeke Thomas

Amid the growing onslaught of allegations against Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and other prominent figures, one thing is certain: there isn't a right or wrong way to respond after experiencing sexual assault. We also know that it's something that affects people across all demographics. Zeke Thomas, musician, DJ, and son of NBA great, Isaiah Thomas, knows this firsthand. In our conversation, he discussed how prevalent sexual assault is in the gay community, why he waited so long to tell anyone after his own experience, and why we need to stop shaming people who use Grindr.

Written by Arwa Mahdawi


Heard the hilarious joke about the vice-president of the United States wanting to hang all gay people? Ah, no, my mistake. It wasn’t a joke – it was just another day in the increasingly regressive states of Trumpinistan. Trump, you see, does have a fanbase among the LGBT community. While only 14% of gay Americans voted for him (it’s hard to get data on trans voters), he’s galvanized very vocal support among an influential group of gay, white, and financially well-off men.


In February, for example, Chadwick Moore, a 33-year-old gay journalist who controversially profiled the deeply odious Milo Yiannopoulos in Out magazine, “came out” as sympathetic to Trump in a New York Post piece. Moore is just one example of a wider trend of gay people, emboldened by the likes of self-described “dangerous faggot” Yiannopoulos, to publicly and vociferously air their prejudices or pledge their allegiance to the racist, sexist and increasingly homophobic Trump administration. READ MORE

Written by Shane Smith, Editor, Stonewall Gazette

One of the more popular features here on Stonewall Gazette is Let's Talk | Issues for Gay Men. Below are some of the posts you may have missed. Enjoy!

• The Truth Is Homophobia Hurts Straight People Too

• The Myth of a 'Gay Lifestyle'

• Are Gay Men More Masculine?

• The Phantom Gay Uncle Experience

• Healthy Hearts, Dogs and You

• Trap of Forgiveness in Gay Life After Toxic Parents - Toxic Relationships and Dating Frustrations

Written by John Lannoye


Ever hear of breadcrumbing? Here’s the short definition. Breadcrumbing is when a guy holds on to you by a string. Rather than just ending things or refusing to talk (ghosting) breadcrumbers do the bare minimum to boost your hopes while never committing – to anything. In this way, they can still get down your pants or stroke your ego without having to emotionally invest.


FYI: Some guys also use breadcrumbing as a form of breaking up without actually severing ties. But once they find someone they are ready to get serious with, they ghost out. If you’ve ever had this happen, you know how brutal it can be. That’s why it’s best to nip it in the bud immediately.

Here’s 10 signs to look for if you think you’re being breadcrumbed.

Written by Will Kohler


In 1960 every state in America had an anti-sodomy law on its books.

One of the biggest steps toward gay equality, the end of America’s sodomy laws, began on November 17, 1998 when a 911 operator received a call about “a black male going crazy with a gun” at John Geddes Lawrence’s home in the Houston suburbs. Harris County sheriff’s deputies responded and entered Lawrence’s unlocked apartment. There, they purportedly found Lawrence and Tyron Garner engaging in consensual sex.

What they actually found is a matter of debate. Lawrence and Garner weren’t lovers — in fact, that false report had been phoned in by Garner’s actual lover, Robert Eubanks, who suspected Garner and Lawrence were having an affair.

Lawrence and Garner were arrested, held in jail overnight, and charged with violating Section 21.06 of the Texas Penal Code. That law, otherwise known as the Texas Homosexual Conduct law, prohibited engaging “in deviant sexual intercourse with another individual of the same sex.”
READ MORE

This first-person story is written by Belgian archer Ivan Denis


I was 18 years old when I decided to come out as gay to the world and obviously, that was not easy. If it wasn’t for the support of my partner, I certainly wouldn’t have outed myself during my sports career. After thinking about how we would handle it and what consequences this could have, positive and negative, I eventually took the step.

I admitted I was gay in a magazine interview, so I had to tell my story just once. I had already informed my closest family a few days before social media and gossip reached the rest of the family, friends, schoolmates, the army and my sport shortly afterwards.

Afterwards, I did wonder if it was really worth it, waiting to come out and being secretive about it for so long, but as a professional athlete you have to take everything into account. For example, I had to rely on private sponsoring to finance my sport, as television coverage of archery is non-existent in the first place and Bloso (the Flemish Sports federation) didn’t show much support either at that time. Fortunately, I didn’t experience any difficulties with sponsors. My biggest sponsor back then was a Dutch company. Overall, the Netherlands are more evolved in terms of acceptance than Belgium, and being a rather small company without huge media campaigns, it made coming out to my sponsors much easier. READ MORE

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People who use methamphetamine or cocaine on a regular basis may have differences in those brain regions that are involved in choosing between right and wrong, compared to people who don't use these drugs, according to a new study of prison inmates. "This is the first study to suggest impairments in the neural systems of moral processing in both cocaine and methamphetamine users," says lead study author Samantha Fede, a graduate student in the department of psychology at the University of New Mexico.
READ MORE

Written by Mark Greene


In American culture, we believe that men can never be entirely trusted in the realm of the physical. We collectively suspect that, given the opportunity, men will revert to the sexual at a moment’s notice. That men don’t know how to physically connect otherwise. That men can’t control themselves. That men are dogs.

There is no corresponding narrative about women.


In preparing to write about the lack of gentle touch in men’s lives, I right away thought, “I feel confident I can do platonic touch, but I don’t necessarily trust other men to do it. Some guy will do something creepy. They always do”.

Quickly on the heels of that thought, I wondered, “Wait a minute, why do I distrust men in particular?” The little voice in my head didn’t say, “I don’t necessarily trust people to not be creepy”, it said, “I don’t trust men”. READ MORE

Written by Dylan McNally, Patrick McAnaney, & Andrew Lowenthal


Entrepreneurship and risk are a package deal, and launching a company as an LGBTQ person places yet another set of challenges on an already uncertain endeavor. A question such as, “Is my product-market fit secure enough to raise venture capital?” gives way to something more haunting: “Could my sexual orientation or gender identity limit how much funding I get from investors?” As a result, a young LGBTQ person might forego their innovative startup idea for a more secure job at a company that accepts, or even celebrates, their identity.

Five Reasons Why LGBTQ Entrepreneurs Are Joining Forces Are

1. The data show real inequality gaps for LGBTQ people in entrepreneurship.

2. Strong networks provide better access to resources and investors.

3. LGBTQ-supportive companies see positive outcomes for employees.

4. LGBTQ innovation helps companies solve problems and tap into new markets.

5. Future generations of LGBTQ people should see entrepreneurship as a viable path to success.

Continue Reading: Five Reasons Why LGBTQ Entrepreneurs Are Joining Forces

Written by Preston Mitchum


By now, we’ve all heard about Anthony Rapp’s allegations of sexual assault by Kevin Spacey when Rapp was 14 and Spacey was 26. Waking up in the middle of the night to the revelation of Rapp’s story and Spacey’s response felt like a punch in the gut because it doesn’t just happen in Hollywood.

As a black queer man who was sexually abused as a child by a man who now identifies as gay, this Spacey public relations stunt of coming out while addressing Rapp’s allegations saddens me in indescribable ways. We’re in an era where someone can tweet an apology for allegedly sexual assaulting a person then try to escape accountability by owning his sexual identity publicly.

Being assaulted by a man who later acknowledged being gay confused me so much about my own sexuality because I connected my sexuality to being abused. It took years to rework that my sexuality was not borne out of pain. I was not gay because I was abused.

Even though my abuser didn’t “come out” until many years after he assaulted me, Spacey’s response made me relive my entire interactions with my abuser and my own thinking on sexuality and abuse. I was a black boy who was already told that being gay was a problem; imagine adding on top of that the idea that my sexuality was connected to the abuse.
READ MORE



MORE NEWS ABOUT THE KEVIN SPACEY SCANDAL

• Actor Harry Dreyfuss Says Kevin Spacey Groped Him When He Was 18
• Kevin Spacey Flashed Him Outside a Hotel Then Handed Over His Watch to Hush Him Up Says British Barman 
• Three More Men Come Forward With Sexual Harassment Claims Against Kevin Spacey
• Man Comes Forward to Describe an Alleged Extended Sexual Relationship He Had at Age 14 With Kevin Spacey
• Oscar-winning Actor Kevin Spacey Is Seeking “Evaluation and Treatment” After Allegations

Written by Ian Howley


It’s not easy to sit down and plan out an issue to do with alcohol and gay men. Why? Well, who wants to be told they are drinking too much or too often? Not me. I like a drink just as much as the next person.

What’s the problem with alcohol?

A few years ago, Stonewall released a major LGBT health report. In it they found that gay men not only drink more than our straight buddies but more often too. So why do we drink so much?

Here Are Six Reasons Why Gay Men Drink So Much: